Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
