if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
