At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They took my balls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
