I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
