I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
