Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize