...so i touched it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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