You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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