you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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