Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
