Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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