Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
this will be a night to untag.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
