She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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