BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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