From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
