I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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