You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
