im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
