Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
