OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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