too bad you live with your parents still
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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