honey bunches of taint.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
