rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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