he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
