He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
