the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
