dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
