Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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