bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
