I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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