she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I AM VODKA MAN
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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