I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
don't judge my taste in strippers
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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