Just cropdusted the office
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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