Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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