Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
