Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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