The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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