i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
