i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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