yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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