So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
