i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just pee around me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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