let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
