some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
