i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
