dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We don't watch enough power rangers
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
