We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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