the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
