i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
