I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize