They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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