you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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