Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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