One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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