Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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