this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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