Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize