The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize