i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
