So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who