Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.