So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dating After Heartbreak
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots