Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ugly people sure do ruin things
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian