I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.