So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
