Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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