Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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