I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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